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Richard Humann • China Blue

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Richard Human and China Blue have collaborated on several sound art works.

WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS?
(Because they have big fingers!)

It is a series of jokes that they tell each other in call and response.

MORE DETAILS

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A stick.

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off when you die.

What is the difference between broccoli and snot?
You can’t make kids eat broccoli.

What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
Sexual harassment.

What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
$3.99 a minute.

How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.

What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate clauses.

What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.

What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
French flies.

What do elephants use for tampons?
Sheep!

What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.

What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I’m coming down with something.

What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!

What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.

What has a lot of keys but cannot open any doors?
A piano.

What’s gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington D.C.?
The Presidential Seal

What’s round and bad-tempered?
A vicious circle.

How can you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

What’s the difference between a chorus line and a magician?
A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
An Italian suppository.

What’s six inches long, has a bald head, and drives women crazy?
A hundred dollar bill.

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out.

Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business del off.

What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynecologist looks up your family bush!

How do you know if a guy has a high sperm count?
His girlfriend has to chew before swallowing.

What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each other’s shoulders?
A scrotum pole.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old women?
A Bingo machine.

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year.

How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It’s not hard.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One… men will screw anything.

What dis the elephant say to the naked man?
“How do you breathe through that thing?”

Why do men masturbate?
It’s sex with someone they love.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter what you call him, he ain’t gonna come.

What do you get when you play a Country Song backwards?
You get your wife back, you get your job back and you stop drinking.

What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now?
Decomposing.

What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care.

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

Hear about the guy that put his condom on backwards?
He went.

Why did the pothead plant Cheerios?
He thought they were donut seeds.

How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a luxury car?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.

Mom’s have Mother’s Day, father’s have Father’s Day. What do single guys get?
Palm Sunday.

Why do we have orgasms?
How else would we know when to stop?

Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand you don’t need a partner.

Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
He decided to stick it out for one more year.

What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get the clock fixed.

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
Because they all have phones.

How can you tell soap opera’s are fictional?
In real life, men aren’t affectionate out of bed.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

 

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